I had long suspected myself having depression since there was an ad saying "Do u feel like crying all the time?" with a woman in tears...

I am feeling reali depressed probably after i applied my house! It shld be a happy thing, but seems like it was a huge burden to me! Cant afford it, cant afford anything... Sometimes i even thot of ending my life and that's it!! Then i dun haf to worry abt so much things, dun need pay for anything liao...

It began when i was worrying abt my monthly contribution to CPF unable to cope with the monthly loan maintenance. Tinking that i must at least earn more than $2.5K per month to be able to finance half of the monthly loan.

Taxes, taxes and more taxes....No matter how much i earn, i still haf to pay the government taxes, for to do nothing! Tax-payers hard-earned money will go into the pockets of the people who are working in Government sectors!

Y do i say that?? I haf an ex-colleague whose husband is working in 'Prime Minister's Office' previously. According to what i heard from his wife, every month when they haf staff suggestions, they will get some cash rewards like $100 or $200 cash vouchers. And guess what the suggestions meant?? Those tiny weeny unimportant things like suggesting to "put some flower pots in office", "shifting the flower pots location to a better location from here to there, to beautify THEIR office", etc, etc....

People outside struggling to earn their keepings, but those IDIOTS are having a good time of their lives their suggesting 'bo liao' things and getting rewarded!! Wasting government resources and wasting tax payers' money! Reali cant take it!

And the forever increasing GST! From 3%, 4%, 5% to now, goin to be 7% in July this yr.... Even having a simple meal outside, we still haf to pay 10% service tax and 7% GST, and service taxes oso haf to pay GST!!! Did u ever realised that?

Well, everybody had to pay for the same amount, pay for the same things, i knew that, just that i personally reali cant take it anymore!

With my so little salary, how can i ever survive in this country when everything means money$$$!!!! Stepping out of the house means spending money, staying at home oso costs money!! Electricity bills, utilities bills, phone bills, water bills, housing loans......

Had been comtemplating to migrate somewer else....I reali cant take the stress in Singapore... With so much taxes to pay for, and high housing prices, high loans, everything so expensive here... OMG!! I reali cant take it, so stressed out, i m going crazy!!!

Work means getting even more stressed out with crazy colleagues like Nelson, back stabbing everytime, bad mouthing, noisy man!! Sometimes i reali feel like shouting in office for him to SHUT UP!!! Hearing him talkin makes me haf headaches all the time, especially his voice is esp loud and clear... He had been talking from beginning of work at 8am till 530pm...Doing nothing but talking...Crazy man!!

Recently, i had been finding myself being cooped up in the house for so long, feeling depressed, lack of going out, shopping, relaxing... Nick had been busy with work, busy with studies, that's y i had been staying at home for the past few weekends...Din go out, doin nothing...

Oredi feeling very depressed, wanted to vent out since yesterday, then i heard from my 3rd sis that my younger sis had been angry with me for not trusting her!! She is in China... For the whole matter, from the start till now, i din even say i dun trust her. I reali dunnoe what made her said that?? I was merely asking her where's the laptop bag and she told me its at home.

We couldnt find the bag at home, so asked her wer she put it, and she said we dun trust her and din wan to talk anymore... We thot, or i shld say i thot the problem was she was angry wif all ppl at home, but i was wrong!! SHE WAS ANGRY WITH ME alone!!!

I reali cant take it anymore. I reali dunnoe why she said that! I reali dunnoe what i did wrong? I was reali hurt! She was the sis i dote on most, and now she said that of me and din even wan to talk to me online. I was hurt. The moment i heard that i reali cant contained my tears and emotions get the better of me! Was reali feeling sad and sinking in more depression.... To tink we could haf an misunderstanding so far apart...

Was telling Lan Eng abt the whole story and i cried again in office. It reali hurt me!! I called Nick tis morning and he said last nite, he msn my younger sis and asked her 'Dun be so petty"! Guess by his doings, she got pissed off and logged off, ignoring him... I told him off for saying that to her and complicating the whole matter... Almost quarelled with him over this until he stopped me!

I reali dunnoe what i m doing, i reali dunnoe what i want....Just feel like ending it all...

Today all MSO went to Furama Hotel for MSO communications with our ED, Ong Boon Leong. He will be addressing us as ED of our company for the last time as he will be leaving the company. Last day on Friday.

Anyway, our communication session ended at ard 130pm and we had our lunch there. The few of us arranged to go back together. Ppl like Lee Chin Pern, Lee Kong Leong, Jaslin, Hum TT, Lim Chong Hwa & me. Nelson tagged along after the lunch.

Actuali 6 of us together wif Peh Chin Yong wanted to go shopping after that, b4 goin back to office. But with a Nelson tagging along...Haiz!!! We went OG walked then he said he is going back. Dunnoe becos he wanted go back office show off first or he dun wan go shopping wif Jaslin?

Anyway, when he went down the escalator, the rest if them say since he is goin down, then we go up lor. Can 甩掉 him... So we reali went up & continued shopping.

LauYF sms me wat time i m goin back, and i might as well asked him if i can dun go back. He say take leave lor. Anyway while we were still dilly-dally discussing, he said Nelson is oredi back at office liao.

So i got no choice but to go back. Chin Pern called back to ask Sim TH if they can dun go back anot, expecting an answer from from saying no need go back. But to all of their disappointment, he said must go back, but take your time. So everybody was like sianz lor!!

I suspected was becos Nelson went back made alot of noises, so that's y Sim oso bo bian must get them back...

In the end, i was rite. Lan Eng was saying “你没死过啊？Nelson 已经回来了, 你们还敢不回来?" Nelson went to report to boss that he is back oredi, the moment he stepped in the office. Boss even asked him if he saw me!! Wah Lao!!! Sabo me!!

Reali kena backstabbed!! Sim said he came back, he din say anything abt us, but everybody in office oredi knew the session ended and we shld be back by then liao lor and we are still not back yet!!! The "timer" oredi started counting since 3pm, he came back. When Sim asked him "how come u so fast come back, take plane huh?" he answered he even took the wrong train, if not for the wrong train, he would had been back earlier liao... Wah!!! Jus tis sentence can kill all of us lor!!

When they went down tea-break, they oredi saw alot of the rest came back liao, except us!! So 6 of us oredi kena blacklisted liao lor!!!

Reali spoil my mood for the day and made me haf monday blues!!!

ED had made a very interesting presentation today which i thot i shall share....

LESSONS FROM GEESE

We can learn many lessons from nature. For example, geese have much to teach us about working together.As each goose flaps its wings, it creates an uplift of air for the bird that follows. By flying in a "V" formation, the whole flock adds 71 percent more flying range than when each bird flies alone.

Lesson 1: People who share a common direction or vision can achieve their goals ore quickly and easily when they share information, activities, and resources.
Whenever a goose falls out of formation, it suddenly feels resistance; the goose will quickly get back into formation and take advantage of the "lifting power" of the other birds.

Lesson 2: By working together, we can achieve common goals that otherwise could not be achieved alone.
When the lead goose gets tired, another goose takes the lead.

Lesson 3: It pays to assume new roles and share leadership.
The geese in formation will honk to encourage those up front to keep their speed.

Lesson 4: Taking the time to reflect on and celebrate achievements brings renewed energy and commitment.
When a goose gets sick or wounded, two geese drop out of formation and follow their fellow member to provide protection. They stay with the goose until the bird is either able to fly again or dies. Then, they catch up with their flock or launch out on their own.

Lesson 5: All collaboratives face challenges. Depending on how the challenges are handled, they can either cause the collaborative to lose momentum and collapse, or they can be the springboards for creativity and revitalization.


Adapted with permission from Jon Seidel, Lessons from the Geese (Oakland, Calf.: EDP Consulting, Inc., 1997).

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This guide focuses on creating community partnerships to support the growth and development of children and families to make their lives better. Without doubt, your Head Start program is already involved in community partnerships of varying levels. Some of those partnerships may be at the communication or networking level, where staff exchange information about community programs and services. Others may be at the coordination level, where staff works with other community agencies to avoid duplication of efforts or to fill gaps in services.

Cooperation is yet another level of community partnership where two or more programs conduct joint activities to meet their individual goals.

Collaboration, however, is the most intense level of community partnership. It involves programs working together toward common goals could not be achieved by any program acting alone. Resources, information, and activities are shared by the collaborative partners to turn the goals into reality.

For Head Start programs across the country, collaboration poses both an opportunity and a challenge to get people and organizations to work together in new ways. The road to collaboration is neither straight nor easy. It involves changing the way people work and think.

When people collaborate, they move from competing to consensus building, from working alone to including others, from thinking mostly about activities, services, and programs to thinking about the "big picture," and from focusing on short-term accomplishments to achieving long-term results.

Michael Winer and Karen Ray, Collaboration Handbook: Creating, Sustaining, and Enjoying the Journey (Saint Paul, Minn.: Amherst H. Wilder Foundation, 1994).
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passage extracted from
http://www.bmcc.edu/Headstart/ComPart/pref_30.htm

Finally got a blog of my own!

Simply me!

For those who know me, there's no need for further intro, but if u dunnoe me and had really happen to chance upon this, pls go away!

Trespassers shall be executed by me. wahaha.....